So you failed, and you feel like shit, now what? Follow these 10 steps below.
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In life, some things are simply inevitable, and we, therefore, plan for them accordingly. However, there is something that is almost guaranteed to happen yet we fail to plan – failure. Whether it is professionally or personally, failure is just a fact of life, so we have some fantastic tips to guide you through the process and come out the other side bigger and better than ever before.
Step 1: Feel – If you have failed, the first step is to allow yourself to feel what is happening. If you are sad and disappointed, that’s fine! Feel these emotions but do not hold onto these feelings. It will only make you feel worse! Therefore, you should notice any emotion and process your feelings before moving forward.
Step 2: Accept – Next, you have to accept whatever it was that happened. If you continue blaming yourself or others, you are holding on when you really should be letting go. If necessary, grab some paper and write down what happened using only facts without blame. Once you do this, you can start to accept that it is in the past and nothing you can do will change that fact.
Step 3: Positive Reframing – Even within failure, there are positives to be found so spend some time assessing what the positives might be. Instead of saying ‘I have failed at finishing this task,’ say something like ‘I have spent a little longer on this task than expected.’ Of course, you should never underplay mistakes, but you need to look for the best in every situation.
Step 4: Recognize Negative Thoughts – Whether it is name-calling or beating yourself up, you need to identify when negative thoughts occur to then question them. Suddenly, you can start to dispute the negative claims and overhaul your mindset.
Step 5: Stop Replaying – As mentioned earlier, there is no way of going back and changing the past so stop thinking about what happened. When you always replay situations, this is called ‘rumination, ’ and it prevents us from moving forward.
Step 6: Find the Cause – Once you complete the above, you can start to bounce back, and this begins with identifying the cause. If it could have been prevented, think about what you will do differently next time. As long as you grow from it, failure can actually be incredibly useful.
Step 7: Set Goals – What do you want to happen next? If you lost your job, how are you going to proceed from here? As long as you make these goals achievable, there is no reason why you can’t use the opportunity of losing your job to move into your dream career path finally. If possible, talk with others to create viable goals.
Step 8: Mental Contrasting – When envisioning all the success that will come, we often get blindsided which is why mental contrasting is important. Instead of just focusing on the perfect life, you also need to envision potential obstacles because then you can plan and appreciate how difficult the journey may be.
Step 9: Assess Your Approach – Now you have made mistakes, you know what you need to avoid the next time. Thomas Edison, creator, and inventor of the lightbulb, once said ‘I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work’. If you can adopt this mindset, you won’t go far wrong.
Step 10: Keep Going – With a new goal and plan in place, you can try again and move towards your goal. Ultimately, life is a learning process because no person is born knowing everything. If you want to be the best, you have to learn at every opportunity!