IS BEING A PERFECTIONIST BENEFICIAL OR DAMAGING?

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Who is a Perfectionist?
Perfectionism is a tendency to aim for the best and to refuse anything less. Perfectionism is often characterized by certain qualities that are noticeable to everyone. Perfectionists are never satisfied with their current situation. They are always motivated and have an incredible aptitude for spotting opportunities for improvement. If you are reading this article and you realize that you fit the aforementioned description, then it is most likely that you are a perfectionist. Another way to know that you are a perfectionist is if you have been described as a perfectionist by two or more persons in the last one month.

Perfectionism is a very complex trait that harbors both positivity and negativity. Being a perfectionist makes you predisposed to certain likable and enviable traits. Perfectionists are leaders, goal-getters, adaptable, progressive and they do not tolerate mediocrity. While perfectionists have all of these lovable traits, it should also be noted that perfectionism has its setbacks too. A perfectionist can very easily be predisposed to negative traits such as being antisocial, timid, depressed, disgruntled, competitive and difficult.

It is clear that perfectionism has two opposite side to it. Perfectionism could mean pursuing your dreams and giving your best in each of your undertakings, or it could mean being critically judgmental on yourself, discontent with self and eventual rejection of self. In a world where there are so many opportunities and uncertainties, it becomes crucial to explore the nature of perfectionism and to see if it is actually beneficial or damaging to be a perfectionist. For us to give a verdict on perfectionism, let us first explore its upsides and downsides.

Upsides of perfectionism
The upsides of perfectionism are the constant desire to be better. Positive perfectionism aims to do better in every pursuit and to give the best in every situation. Positive perfectionism is motivated, driven and adaptable. Positive perfectionism rejects mediocrity. Contained below are the perks that come with being a perfectionist.

Hard work and dedication: Perfectionists are usually hardworking and dedicated. Perfectionists are dedicated to the achievement of set goals and they will remain undeterred until they accomplish it. This trait is by far one of the most enviable features of a perfectionist.

Resilience and tenacity: It is quite common to find that perfectionists are actually very resilient. They can push their mental and physical capabilities to the furthest limits. This trait is particularly relevant when faced with difficult situations.

Leadership: Perfectionist can be great leaders because they will give the best of themselves to their followers. More importantly, they are always motivated which is a key leadership trait.

Progressive and successful: Being a perfectionist means that your chance of being successful is very high. You have a tendency to give your best and in most cases, that is all you require. Perfectionists look for ways to improve the status-quo. Perfectionist is quick to embrace new innovations and new ideas that will further their goals and facilitate the attainment of their pursuits.

The downsides of perfectionism
On the flip side, being a perfectionist has some very dangerous disadvantages. While it is hard to ascertain whether the perks of being a perfectionist outweigh its disadvantages, we will find out once we are done enumerating its numerous downsides. Most times, perfectionists tend to suffer greatly from lack of content, as they always dwell on their flaws instead of their strengths. Being a perfectionist also presents feelings of depression, self-hate, and dejection. It is only expected that when you are too preoccupied chasing goals and brooding over your failures instead of enjoying your accomplishments that you will wind up feeling emotionally drained and sad. Sometimes, a perfectionist will embark on endeavors that are completely out of reach. They may not have the skill set or resources to make a pursuit a reality, but they will judge themselves harshly and unfairly when they fail in the undertaking. According to professional analysis, contained below are some of the downsides of perfectionism:

 

Inclination towards harsh self-judgment: A perfectionist is often inclined towards the dangerous path of harsh and disparaging self-judgment. While it okay to introspect and give an honest evaluation of yourself, the perfectionist takes this process to a whole new height or in better terms, a whole new depth. The perfectionist will condemn himself badly. He will disregard all of his efforts and gains while focusing solely on mistakes and flaws.

Lethargy: we explored the fact that perfectionist has an inclination towards being motivated and hardworking. However, the opposite could also happen to a perfectionist. A perfectionist may also exhibit signs of being lethargic and lazy. This happens because they have a “perfect picture” of how things should be in their head. They may become inactive and unable to act because they feel like the situation isn’t ideal enough.

Lack of content: While discontentment may seem like a trivial matter, it actually has very shocking ramifications on your health and entire quality of life. You will rarely find a perfectionist that is content. Consequently, perfectionists are often victims of emotional turmoil, sadness, and uncertainty.

Dwell on their shortcomings: Being a perfectionist often makes people focus on their shortcomings and flaws. Instead of looking at their strengths, they simply dwell on what they do not have. I contend that widespread perfectionism is the fuel that has propelled the cosmetic surgery industry to staggering heights. There are individuals that have had innumerable cosmetic surgery procedures in the elusive pursuit of a “perfect body”.

Being excessively competitive: Perfectionists are often times highly competitive. While it is okay to be competitive, it is completely different when you feel you must win all the time.

Fear and excessive introspection: Perfectionists often come off as “uptight.” The reasons for this are because they are always thinking and second-guessing situations. Fear and excessive introspection are some negative habits that come with being a perfectionist. Often times, these traits cause lethargy.

After exploring the perks and disadvantage of perfectionism, it is very hard to ascertain whether perfectionism is in fact, good or bad. While there are two sides to the coin called perfections, we can always learn ways to improve the upsides perfectionism while lowering its downsides.Ways to improve the upsides of perfectionism and decrease its downsides:

– Dwell on your accomplishment and celebrate them
– Take up new challenges that are within your reach
– Adopt a positive ideology towards life and pursuits
– Change your perception of the failure
– See life from a lighter perspective
– Have a life outside your work and pursuits. Hobbies and leisurely pursuits will help
-Learn to love yourself

It is imperative that you love yourself and this means that you must love your perfectionism too. Perfectionism is a very advantageous trait. It makes you enthusiastic, formidable and resilient. However, you should learn to appreciate life and enjoy diversions. Learn from your mistakes and move on to new. Finally, always think of the world as your playground.
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7 WAYS TO STAY HAPPY | Motivational Article

Staying happy is an everyday decision. Let these 7 tips help you make that everyday decision.

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If you were asked to name some things that make you happy, I am sure you will be able to come up with some good answers, it is easy to know what can make you happy but position yourself to enjoy the full benefits of living a happy life will take more than just knowing what can make you happy.

Creating an environment that will encourage you to feel happy at all times will not necessarily take a huge effort. We have listed out simple steps that you can adopt to make yourself happy at all times.

 

1) Acknowledge only the good things around you at every moment.

Starting out by being grateful for the little things that other people might not have the luxury of is the first step to being happy. You should be grateful for having a shelter and being able to wake up every morning to have the kind of breakfast you want. Many people out there do not have the luxury to make these choices.

Always look out for the good in every situation, we live in a time when we cannot entirely avoid negativity, it is all over the social media and the news, but you can control what you get exposed to. Never let the negative trends discourage you from trying to be happy at all times.

In the end, it is very simple things we could effortlessly do that determine how happy we become.

 

2) Engage in actions that ensure a long-term benefit.

The problem with always seeking short-term benefits is that in a short while you will need to get something else to make you happy, this is a common experience for people who seek gratification from acquiring minor material things.

One common mistake people make is taking jobs they know they will never be happy doing; this is like consciously signing an agreement to be permanently upset every day. A good way to remain happy is to love what you do for a living, so you should consider making better career choices.
If you are looking for ways to be happy, identify your gifts and find ways to use these gifts to help other people around you.

When you can realize the ways your existence on earth can be used to make other people happy, you will appreciate yourself even more despite all your imperfections.

 

3) Concentrate on only what is important to you.

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You’ve been blessed with all you need to live a happy life, look within and find these blessings.
Many people experience frustrations because they have not clearly identified what they want in their lives. If you fall into this category, you are in luck because there are easy steps to overcome this success barrier. The first step is to think carefully about your life and make up your mind on what you want to become. You can proceed by making a list of these things and attempting to draw out a map that will lead you to achieve them.
Remember when you were little and you wanted a particular toy? This was all you thought about all day and night frequently asking your parents when you can get it until they finally bought it for you. This is the measure of dedicated focus you need to apply in achieving your goals. Don’t get distracted by the things you do not have instead, focus on getting the things you can get by following your plan.
I should state here that your plan should be realistic and achievable too, all you should do is believe it can happen and the more confident you get in achieving this goal, the easier it will be for you to make it happen.

 

4) Learn to put yourself first.

Contrary to what you might have previously thought, you will end up feeling worse if you always put the needs of other people before yours.
Sadly, there are a lot of selfish people out there who will use every opportunity to take from you once they find out that you never say no. Think back to the many times you have had to do things for people at your inconvenience. You will realize these people only reach out to you when they need something. This is unfair; you should learn to put yourself first.
Don’t fall victim of wasting your time to suit the needs of other people who don’t really care how you feel, you should learn to say no. This is a common situation almost everyone has had to face, and the truth is you will feel better when you say no, be brief and polite about it, and you will be surprised that the other person will understand because they know what they have asked for is actually unfair to you.

 

Start practicing this today, and you will feel better, don’t ever feel guilty after refusing an unfair request, you have just created more time to focus on achieving your own goals.

 

5) Locate role models who have achieved similar goals and become friends with them.
Portrait of happy senior asian iwontlose

Knowing what other people have gone through will help you to make better plans.
In life, we practically have no influence over the family we are born into or who we work with at the office. What we can control is how much interaction we have with people who turn out to be malicious and bitter towards others. The best kind of company is people who think like you, they are ambitious and always seek ways to improve themselves and others around them. You will benefit from these people because there will be similarities in your thoughts and beliefs which is lifting up others and helping out ONLY when you can afford it. When you notice people, who behave in ways you admire, learn from them by observing how they handle issues, become friends with them too. It is also important that you should never try to be like other people, what you should focus on is learning from them and applying these skills in your own special and unique way.

Trying to become another version of a person will only be frustrating, so avoid it.

 

6) Learn from your mistakes and unfortunate experiences
I am yet to see a person who can boldly declare they have lived perfect lives with no mistakes, we are human and we all make mistakes. Don’t feel too bad when you are faced with adversity because it cannot be totally avoided as you forge ahead in life, what you should do is face them boldly and learn from the experience. You should also know that every situation becomes exactly the name you give it, only you can tag and experience as unfortunate or bad.
There are many possibilities that those rejections and disappointments can be a blessing in disguise. We have constantly heard of people who were previously turned down after attempts to secure jobs or contracts they thought would be great for them only for them to get even better opportunities that would have been lost if their earlier attempts had been successful.

This means you should never take rejection or adversity personally, instead believe only the best things can happen to you and keep looking ahead for what is better.

 

7) Always strive to give your very best only within your limits

Happy Graduate Laughing iwontloseBelieving in you means forging ahead even when the means to make it has not been clearly defined. You should have faith in your abilities, and when the time comes to prove yourself, the results will be absolutely excellent.
It is difficult to achieve happiness and success when you lay back, waiting for the perfect moment to act. There might never be a perfect moment, or it might come after you have wasted so much valuable time. It is the gradual and uncertain moves made in faith that will get you where you need to be.
The media and many other platforms have made us believe that imperfection should not be embraced, the level of perfection that is painted through these mediums can be a source of depression for people whose self-esteem get challenged by the perfect looking models seen on TV or the stories of people who became wealthy many years ago. You are distinctively who you are- unique and special people because of those imperfections that make you stand out. Doing something in a different way creates an opportunity for you to define your unique style. There are countless stories of how imperfections have been turned to assets, means through which the lives of the people changed. Dare to explore your uniqueness, never feel less confident because you don’t measure up to the seemingly perfect picture painted out there.

Always remember that being happy is ultimately dependent on your decisions. You have the power to live happily, exercise control over the situations and people you interact with by getting closer to the positive influences and avoiding all forms of negativity.