IS BEING A PERFECTIONIST BENEFICIAL OR DAMAGING?

PERFECT
Who is a Perfectionist?
Perfectionism is a tendency to aim for the best and to refuse anything less. Perfectionism is often characterized by certain qualities that are noticeable to everyone. Perfectionists are never satisfied with their current situation. They are always motivated and have an incredible aptitude for spotting opportunities for improvement. If you are reading this article and you realize that you fit the aforementioned description, then it is most likely that you are a perfectionist. Another way to know that you are a perfectionist is if you have been described as a perfectionist by two or more persons in the last one month.

Perfectionism is a very complex trait that harbors both positivity and negativity. Being a perfectionist makes you predisposed to certain likable and enviable traits. Perfectionists are leaders, goal-getters, adaptable, progressive and they do not tolerate mediocrity. While perfectionists have all of these lovable traits, it should also be noted that perfectionism has its setbacks too. A perfectionist can very easily be predisposed to negative traits such as being antisocial, timid, depressed, disgruntled, competitive and difficult.

It is clear that perfectionism has two opposite side to it. Perfectionism could mean pursuing your dreams and giving your best in each of your undertakings, or it could mean being critically judgmental on yourself, discontent with self and eventual rejection of self. In a world where there are so many opportunities and uncertainties, it becomes crucial to explore the nature of perfectionism and to see if it is actually beneficial or damaging to be a perfectionist. For us to give a verdict on perfectionism, let us first explore its upsides and downsides.

Upsides of perfectionism
The upsides of perfectionism are the constant desire to be better. Positive perfectionism aims to do better in every pursuit and to give the best in every situation. Positive perfectionism is motivated, driven and adaptable. Positive perfectionism rejects mediocrity. Contained below are the perks that come with being a perfectionist.

Hard work and dedication: Perfectionists are usually hardworking and dedicated. Perfectionists are dedicated to the achievement of set goals and they will remain undeterred until they accomplish it. This trait is by far one of the most enviable features of a perfectionist.

Resilience and tenacity: It is quite common to find that perfectionists are actually very resilient. They can push their mental and physical capabilities to the furthest limits. This trait is particularly relevant when faced with difficult situations.

Leadership: Perfectionist can be great leaders because they will give the best of themselves to their followers. More importantly, they are always motivated which is a key leadership trait.

Progressive and successful: Being a perfectionist means that your chance of being successful is very high. You have a tendency to give your best and in most cases, that is all you require. Perfectionists look for ways to improve the status-quo. Perfectionist is quick to embrace new innovations and new ideas that will further their goals and facilitate the attainment of their pursuits.

The downsides of perfectionism
On the flip side, being a perfectionist has some very dangerous disadvantages. While it is hard to ascertain whether the perks of being a perfectionist outweigh its disadvantages, we will find out once we are done enumerating its numerous downsides. Most times, perfectionists tend to suffer greatly from lack of content, as they always dwell on their flaws instead of their strengths. Being a perfectionist also presents feelings of depression, self-hate, and dejection. It is only expected that when you are too preoccupied chasing goals and brooding over your failures instead of enjoying your accomplishments that you will wind up feeling emotionally drained and sad. Sometimes, a perfectionist will embark on endeavors that are completely out of reach. They may not have the skill set or resources to make a pursuit a reality, but they will judge themselves harshly and unfairly when they fail in the undertaking. According to professional analysis, contained below are some of the downsides of perfectionism:

 

Inclination towards harsh self-judgment: A perfectionist is often inclined towards the dangerous path of harsh and disparaging self-judgment. While it okay to introspect and give an honest evaluation of yourself, the perfectionist takes this process to a whole new height or in better terms, a whole new depth. The perfectionist will condemn himself badly. He will disregard all of his efforts and gains while focusing solely on mistakes and flaws.

Lethargy: we explored the fact that perfectionist has an inclination towards being motivated and hardworking. However, the opposite could also happen to a perfectionist. A perfectionist may also exhibit signs of being lethargic and lazy. This happens because they have a “perfect picture” of how things should be in their head. They may become inactive and unable to act because they feel like the situation isn’t ideal enough.

Lack of content: While discontentment may seem like a trivial matter, it actually has very shocking ramifications on your health and entire quality of life. You will rarely find a perfectionist that is content. Consequently, perfectionists are often victims of emotional turmoil, sadness, and uncertainty.

Dwell on their shortcomings: Being a perfectionist often makes people focus on their shortcomings and flaws. Instead of looking at their strengths, they simply dwell on what they do not have. I contend that widespread perfectionism is the fuel that has propelled the cosmetic surgery industry to staggering heights. There are individuals that have had innumerable cosmetic surgery procedures in the elusive pursuit of a “perfect body”.

Being excessively competitive: Perfectionists are often times highly competitive. While it is okay to be competitive, it is completely different when you feel you must win all the time.

Fear and excessive introspection: Perfectionists often come off as “uptight.” The reasons for this are because they are always thinking and second-guessing situations. Fear and excessive introspection are some negative habits that come with being a perfectionist. Often times, these traits cause lethargy.

After exploring the perks and disadvantage of perfectionism, it is very hard to ascertain whether perfectionism is in fact, good or bad. While there are two sides to the coin called perfections, we can always learn ways to improve the upsides perfectionism while lowering its downsides.Ways to improve the upsides of perfectionism and decrease its downsides:

– Dwell on your accomplishment and celebrate them
– Take up new challenges that are within your reach
– Adopt a positive ideology towards life and pursuits
– Change your perception of the failure
– See life from a lighter perspective
– Have a life outside your work and pursuits. Hobbies and leisurely pursuits will help
-Learn to love yourself

It is imperative that you love yourself and this means that you must love your perfectionism too. Perfectionism is a very advantageous trait. It makes you enthusiastic, formidable and resilient. However, you should learn to appreciate life and enjoy diversions. Learn from your mistakes and move on to new. Finally, always think of the world as your playground.
.

NEW!

5 STEPS TO GET OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE!

Leaving your comfort zone | Self Development

Many people have come to understand the importance of setting self-development goals but actualizing these dreams will take a proactive attitude. It is actually easier to stay within your comfort zone, where you will not be bothered with the challenges of self-development.  On the other side, there are enormous potentials in pushing your limits to achieve your dreams the thrill that comes with surprising yourself when you achieve can be a really amazing and encouraging feeling. You will definitely be on your way to becoming a better version of yourself. Do you want to break out of your comfort zone? The following ideas will help you devise the best way to go about doing this.

8

  1. Facing your fears

No one has actually experienced a perfect life, the truth is happy people have faced their fears and conquered them or found ways to deal with them effectively. Acknowledging that there must be challenges will bring you to the point where you will have to make a decision either to stand and face your fears or run away from them. Sadly, running away from our fears has never made them go away. Now, how can you defeat your fears? The best way to go about this is by getting enlightened about the situation. With the right information, you will know what you must do to overcome your fears. It is common to hear people laugh about how long they had let a situation control them, only if they had known it would be this easy to overcome the challenge, they would have been free a long time ago.

2. Be Informed and embrace the process

Developing the mind is crucial to actualizing self-development; this is what education does for you. Without education, your mind will not be challenged to seek more than you already have. It creates an exposure that informs you about better things and features that even you can possess and enjoy. Getting an education will also empower you with the right information to know if your fears about breaking free from your comfort zone are actually valid.

Stepping out of your comfort zone should be a gradual process. This can be easily achieved by setting “easy” short-term goals. Achieving these goals will give you the confidence to go for bigger challenges ahead.

A good example is someone who finds it difficult to make friends or carry on a good conversation might end up never trying all through their lives if they never come out of their comfort zone. The gradual steps to take in this case will be to begin by acting friendly, greet people with a smile and soon you will realize that the people around you are more than willing to sit and have a talk with you.

3. Be Adventurous

Being bold enough to do the things you wouldn’t normally do will ease you out of your comfort zone quicker than you think. This is the time to think about these things you have always wanted to do but for many reasons felt fear at the thought of doing them. You can make a list and start from the easy options then work your way up the list until your confidence levels are at a high you never thought was achievable. While you are at this, know that people around you will notice the changes and they will comment on how good it suits you, this will be encouraging too. Always remember, approaching a new idea armed with the right information about it can never go wrong. 

4. Seize every opportunity to meet new people

There are very many interesting people out there. It is even more encouraging to know that there are many gifted people from whom you can learn a lot of new things. Welcoming new knowledge will put you on the highway of excellence and greatness in everything you do. Meet new people, start great conversations with them by asking meaningful questions and you will be happy you did.

5. Never forget your achievements

As you head towards a point for self-actualization and development, you should remember your achievements along this path no matter how small they are. This will help you maintain a positive frame of mind to keep at it knowing there are better things in the future just waiting for you. Staying positive is vital to attaining a high level of self-development. Sadly, there will be other people who have never stepped out of their comfort zones, they will try to discourage you, your positive mental attitude will shut out their pessimism and you will achieve your goals.

EXTROVERTED-IWONTLOSE

BONUS: Find a friend who is extroverted

Generally, spending time with people who have the qualities we desire will help us come out of our comfort zone. In the case of our example here, spending time with a friend who finds it easy to make friends will be very helpful because you will be witnessing firsthand how easy it is for them to chat with other people.

Conclusion:

The feeling of fear is normal, we all experience fear when we are about to do something that we haven’t done before. Having the right information is the key to achieving success. You can deal with fear by practicing activities like special breathing patterns to ease your mind, meditation and the use of effective mantra, positive imagination or listening to music. Find out what works for you and go with it, but you must never quit because the “you” who will emerge from this process will be an amazing person.

Physical Fitness and Self Esteem Go Hand in Hand

Physical Fitness and Self Esteem Go Hand in Hand

How the Internet can help improve one’s self confidence

girltablet

Physical fitness is always a good topic, however, we must not forget that there are other facets of our lives that are also important, such as self esteem. How a person values himself/herself is quite essential, as it affects how he/she turns out later in life. If a person believes in themselves, their mood becomes balanced, and has the tendency to have a more positive outlook in life; it also results in healthy relationships.

feelbetter

There are a lot of ways to help improve one’s self esteem, and socializing is one of these. The advent of social networks such as Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook has made it easier for many to communicate and “socialize” online. In this light, online games have also become a platform for gamers to meet new friends. Unbeknownst to many, playing video and online games also help improve one’s self esteem. A study conducted by Dr. Andy Przybylski of the University of Oxford revealed that gamers can have the freedom to be who they want to be through the characters they design themselves.

“A game can be more fun when you get the chance to act and be like your ideal self,” Przybylski shares.

The positive effects of course, also rely on the type of game that is being played. Online games with “communities” where gamers can exchange ideas and tips create a friendly environment for people to socialize. Games that allow players to interact with each other allow players to feel a sense of belonging.

games

It may not be obvious to a lot of people, but game developers are gearing towards creating positive and welcoming communities to their players. UK-based game developer AlchemyBet, creators of Pocket Fruity, ensures that players and visitors are kept informed through the blogs on their online games.

“First, it will make it more attractive to the search engines. Secondly it’s a great way to provide information and educate your customer about your products, business, industry, etc. Lastly, a blog can give a human face to your business making it stand out from the crowd,” explains Bradley&Company.

While there are a lot of benefits in playing and socializing online, moderation is still key. One should remember that there is still no alternative to spending quality time with friends and family.

 

 

Creating Change

Creating Instantaneous Change

By: Dayne Gingrich (Coach D)
http://CoachYourMind.com
http://twitter.com/#!/CoachDayne
http://facebook.com/CoachDayne

Reaching another level can be difficult, primarily because of how long
the process takes. Becoming an “overnight success” is only possible
after 10+ years of dedication towards your craft. This fact can be
tough to mentally grasp, especially in today’s society of instant
gratification. Very few will commit themselves to the long run, falsely
thinking their goals should immediately appear. Even though creating
long lasting improvement will always take incredible amounts of
patience, there are three things you can do right now that will bring
you instantaneous change.

Develop An Emotional Driving Force
Having goals and taking massive action towards them is important,
but without a strong reason behind those goals, it becomes easy to
give in to the impending struggle. Every highly successful person not
only knows why he’s pursuing his dreams, but is emotionally glued to
the reason from the inside-out. This intense driving force takes a
hopeful attitude, and reverts it to an unstoppable force. Wanting to
succeed is a great start, but deciding that nothing will stop you, no
matter how long it takes or how much pain you have to endure is
what will take you to another plateau. This decision, however, can’t
be cemented into your core belief system until you’ve answered one
important question: “Why am I doing it?” Until you look yourself in
the mirror and answer honestly, the difficulty of the process will
eventually stop your well-intentioned action. Until you dig deep and
emotionally connect to the reasons for withstanding all obstacles that
arise, success will just be a desire. This type of motivation can’t be
stopped – it comes from the heart, and is aimed directly at your
target. What’s your reason?

Raise The Bar
Maximizing success comes from raising your personal expectations.
The majority believe you should keep your expectations low,
reducing the amount of pain you’ll experience if you fail.

Your mind will only take you as far as you ask it to go, so if you ask for the
minimum, that’s exactly what you’ll get. We’re taught to believe limits
exist – this is only true if you decide they exist. If I raise my bar and
miss, I’ll still be at a higher level than the person who keeps his bar
low and attains. If you commit to raising your expectations, you’ll
begin to view your specifics through completely different lenses –
you’ll see possibilities, rather than constraints. When you dedicate
your mindset to reaching a level the majority believe is impossible,
you’ll feel a confidence you didn’t know existed. Create a passion
that’s committed to doing what the masses are unwilling to do … this
will always include elevating your bar on success.

Change Your Vocabulary
Your self-talk will instantly change your path and intensity behind
your growth. Reality is based on how you perceive each moment –
your thoughts and words determine this perception. Eliminate the
words, “hope,” “wish,” and “maybe” from your vocabulary. They’re
weak and noncommittal. Replace them with “I will” and “I am.” This
simple adjustment will dramatically change your mindset, giving you
an immediate feeling of power and confidence. We’re conditioned to
talk in a passive style, because the aggressive approach I
recommend creates risk and vulnerability. When we say, “I will
achieve my goal, guaranteed,” we leave ourselves open to the
possibility of failure. In order to counter this instinctively vulnerable
state, we learn to communicate with ourselves in a more docile, static
fashion: “I hope to achieve my goals” leaves us with the illusion of
moving forward, but produces a fearful mentality. Everything you say
creates an emotion, generating specific action. It’s this action that
secures results. In the end, all results are ultimately based on your
self-talk. Align what you say with the outcome you want.